6 Signs You’re Constantly Worrying About Things You Can’t Control

Focusing on things you cannot control not only negatively affects your mental health, but also wastes time and energy—both of which are finite resources.

However, it’s not easy to detach from these feelings, even if we work on it and desire to be more relaxed in life. Imagine how much you could achieve if you devoted your resources to things you can control.

You would definitely have much more energy for your daily life and thus achieve much more. We all sometimes waste energy on things we cannot control. But for some people, it becomes a way of life.

And for this reason, they always remain stuck in the same place in life. Here are telltale signs that you’re investing too much time, mental energy, and physical effort into things over which you have no control:

 

1. Constantly seeking the approval of others

If you are constantly worrying and seeking the approval of others out of fear of rejection, your anxiety may be out of control. You no longer focus on yourself, but only on other people and on what they think about you and their perception of you and your life.

When we have low self-esteem or confidence, we seek the approval of others and trust their opinion more than our own.

We hope that this opinion will be positive and afterwards, we will feel that with this recognition we can make a difference and achieve something in life.

We do not trust ourselves and believe that the opinion of others matters more. In some cases, it is good to get feedback from other people, but in other cases, we may greatly exaggerate in doing so.

If you find it difficult to affirm yourself and you are constantly looking for validation from others, then ask yourself: Do I have a low self-image, am I not good enough or not worthy?

Can I change something or work on myself to change this feeling and have a different opinion about myself? The positive aspect is that you can learn to reverse this mindset and build confidence in yourself, and with higher self-esteem, you will not worry so much.

 

2. You often feel anxious or tense

Anxiety is due to the defense systems of our body. One result of this protective reaction is muscle tension. Have you noticed that you’re always under pressure without a good reason for it?

Maybe you’re not even aware of it at the moment, but over time, you will notice the effects. Observe yourself and your body to determine if you are under pressure without reason.

If the answer is yes, then it might be that you are worrying too much about things you cannot change. If you often suffer from neck, back, or jaw pain, this could actually be due to constant muscle tension caused by anxiety.

And of course, you should work on relaxing your body and focusing on other things in life, especially those that you can change. Muscle tension can also cause feelings of restlessness that make it difficult to sit still or relax.

 

3. Your thoughts are increasingly illogical and repetitive

Anxiety differs from stress in that it is far less logical. Often, we don’t even know exactly why we are anxious. We feel this way, but when we think about why we feel this way, we can’t find a concrete answer to the question.

Or we find that small and insignificant things trigger our anxiety—someone looking at us strangely, a fire alarm in the building, a dying houseplant, anything.

And then we find this situation funny, but still, we can’t just change these feelings of uncontrolled anxiety. Our thoughts become increasingly dramatic, extreme, and negative, and then certain thoughts start to loop and become compulsive.

And we start to think about things that we can’t change at all.

The girl at work who once gave you a nasty look becomes a huge storyline in your head, as you perceive every single thought she has and says. Is she wearing red to warn you? Is she working overtime to make you look bad? And so on, and these thoughts then never end.

When we are very anxious, we can’t even recognize what is logical and what is not. Therefore, it can be helpful if you share your thoughts with a close friend and get honest feedback from them.

 

4. Over-planning

Do you constantly think too much about plans and solutions? Do you constantly check your child’s backpack to make sure they’ve put their Spanish homework in the right folder?

Can you recognize yourself in similar actions? If you do the same, it’s a sign that you are under pressure and thinking a lot about things you can’t change.

If you try to take control over people and things around you, it’s probably a sign that you are extremely anxious and stressed. One of these is definitely the case.

Maybe you worry about things that are disproportionate to the negative impacts that could occur. However, you can’t control this, and we understand that because we have met many people who behave just like you and have the same problem.

You might try to avoid these impacts by compulsively trying to control situations where it’s not justified.

 

5. You are frequently plagued by feelings of guilt

You request a deserved salary raise and then wonder if your boss is upset. His reaction seems very strange to you and you don’t understand why he reacted that way at all.

You accept the due recognition for a successful project—and then feel guilty about the attention. You don’t know how you should react at the moment and what you could do next.

When guilt is our default emotion, we view even positive things through a lens of worry, and we feel like we have violated someone else’s rights.

And we feel guilty about it and don’t know how to act now. Question this thought. Is this feeling justified, or are you fixated on something that isn’t there? What is the case in your situation?

Ask yourself: “What do I owe this person, and would I expect them to do the same for me? If not, why the double standard?”

You wouldn’t be upset if someone asks you for a raise or demands the recognition they deserve—so give yourself the same benefit of the doubt.

 

6. Difficulty in Sleeping

It’s normal from time to time, but not being able to sleep every night because you are worried is bad for your health, both physically and mentally. And this should not be ignored at all.

When you go to bed, your brain immediately switches back on, and you start worrying about everything, almost like being on a hamster wheel, with your thoughts constantly spinning.

And these thoughts are something you can’t control, no matter how hard you try. The more tired you get, the more you think about the things in your life.

And that’s why you’ll only become more frustrated. Restlessness sets in, and you can’t stop worrying. Nightmares keep you awake, you can’t fall back asleep, and you wake up too early because you’re worried.

And that’s why you have no energy during the day. If we don’t get enough rest, our mood can worsen, and this turns into a vicious cycle. The inability to sleep and rest can be a telling sign that things are spiraling out of control.