Just Because You Miss Him Doesn’t Mean You Want Him Back

Dealing with one’s own feelings towards an ex is a real challenge! Especially when the breakup is fresh and you are still not used to the fact that things have changed between the two of you.

It is important to recognize that all kinds of feelings can coexist for a long time after a breakup, while trying to reconcile the logical and emotional sides of oneself.

In this case, we all need time to come to terms with the fact that life will now proceed differently and that this person is no longer part of it.

When you are intimate with someone, a bond begins to form between the two of you. This is a completely natural process that occurs in a connection between two people.

This is a biologically driven mechanism that was supposed to ensure survival during the time of cavemen. After a while, problems may arise in the relationship, and it can lead to a breakup, but the bond may remain.

This is also normal because it takes time to recover, as this person was a part of your daily life.

At this point, things get confusing – how can you still have feelings for him while simultaneously knowing that you are not good together?

Here are some points that might be helpful.

 

 

1. reminder: You don’t want him back.

He let you down, and if he’s done it once, he will definitely do it again.

If you give him another chance, then he will take advantage of this again to do the same thing.

Guys like him don’t really care about your emotional well-being, and he proved that by refusing to get in touch with you. The more you try to contact him, the bigger his ego will become.

This is the first reason why you don’t want him back at all, whether you miss him or not.

 

 

2. You can miss an ex but not want them back.

Sometimes you might think: “I still love my ex,” but in reality, you’re just lonely. Desperation is not a good foundation to build a relationship on.

These feelings pop up now and then, but they also go away. That’s a sign that you don’t really love them; you’re just bored.

Or on the other hand, you’re now ready for a new relationship, and you feel the urge to have someone by your side. However, that shouldn’t be your ex! You’d be better off finding someone new.

If your ex wanted to break up with you, it was probably because they thought you two weren’t a good match. And maybe you want that too, but mixed feelings have emerged.

All of that is great and what you want in a relationship, but it wasn’t the whole relationship. You broke up for a reason – and you mustn’t forget what that reason was. When you start missing them, think about why you two broke up.

As an enthusiastic giver of second chances, I can tell you that they usually don’t work out. In the first few weeks, everything is great, and I’m convinced that getting back together was the right decision.

But then the initial excitement wears off, and the old problems are still there. So, there’s no point in starting this relationship again with this particular person.

 

 

3. If he can do it once, he will do it again.

People make mistakes. We even make terrible decisions at the expense of those we love. This often happens in life, because none of us is perfect.

Yes, everyone here is quite guilty. That’s why it’s so important to understand the true meaning of forgiveness in our relationships, otherwise we will inevitably walk a hard path of distrust and resentment in life and love.

However, you must be able to recognize whether an apology is sincere or not and whether anything has changed after this apology. Because people will likely make the same mistakes… over and over and over again.

To prevent this, you have to be vigilant. Still, as individuals, we are responsible for what we do not want to tolerate. Of course, mistakes should be able to be made right, and forgiveness is an extension of grace (for others and ourselves).

If we have to define a mistake, then it would be unintentional, outside of our control, and with at least some consideration of the consequences through conviction and remorse.

A decision (not a mistake) is controllable, purposeful, often deliberate, and without regard to the consequences. Often, bad decisions are mistaken for a mistake and vice versa. And over time, one learns to separate these two things from each other.

If he displays behavior that is deliberate, then it means that he had many opportunities to question his own morals and values for himself, you, and the relationship.

And if someone is willing to deal with the logistics of cheating, he will do it in another way again. And no matter if he says he won’t do it anymore, he definitely will.

Recognize the difference: If he has many opportunities to control a situation (i.e., his behavior), repeated mistakes become a choice.

 

 

4. Does he really want you back?

If your ex has contacted you to talk about getting back together, it’s easy to understand why you might be tempted. Because you get the feeling that you are something special and that he still hasn’t forgotten you.

Is there anything better than a man who comes crawling back, regretting the actions that hurt you? I don’t think so!

You feel dominant and important in this moment. But that still doesn’t make it the right decision to get back together with him.

What’s to stop him from breaking your heart again in a few months?

 

 

5. You don’t like him, it’s just that you used to be with him.

The truth is, this man is your comfort zone, which you don’t want to venture out of, even though that’s exactly what you should do. You should enjoy your freedom and independence and distance yourself from him.

You’re used to him, and this relationship represents something familiar to you, despite all the negative aspects. This relationship has become your routine, and now you feel lost when he’s not around.

You simply believe that you like him, but in reality, it’s just an old habit that you find hard to change. And that takes time.

So, if you think you want your ex back, what you really want is the familiar feeling he gives you. Your comfort zone, so to speak.

Basically, you don’t want to experience the dating arena again, and you don’t want to let someone else into your life. So, the easiest thing for you is to get back together with your ex. Right?

After all, you know what to expect from him, and you know how it could continue. However, I must disappoint you that these steps are very wrong.

Believe me, getting back in touch with someone out of habit and because of the feeling of belonging is one of the worst things you can do to yourself.

 

 

6. Blocking his number is the best thing you can do for your well-being.

Even if you tell yourself that you will never contact this man again, your brain will quickly forget that as soon as you have a few drinks.

And what can you do to free yourself from this man? Do not allow yourself to appear petty in front of this man. Not under any circumstances.

Remember that you will regret any kind of call or text when you are emotional and drunk. Later, you will surely regret it.

It’s even worse if you can’t even remember the conversation. Then you have no idea what you said to him or what he said to you.

Block all temptations now and get rid of his phone number and his text message. While you’re at it, you might also want to remove him from social media.