10 Signs You Were Overly Criticized As A Child

People rarely claim to have had a perfect childhood. Parents carry a great responsibility and face many challenges when trying to raise their children. It’s simply a role in life where one cannot be sure how one will perform until placed in the situation of caring for a child.

There is no manual for ‘perfect parenting.’ Parents are only human and can make many mistakes along the way that impact their children. However, parenting is something one can choose. It’s not something that just falls into one’s lap.

Even in the case of an unexpected pregnancy, there is still some time to process the whole situation and become aware of the extent of responsibility and change that is coming.

That does not mean that blaming your parents for everything wrong in your life is the right or productive approach to your self-development.

However, we should not turn a blind eye to the fact that some parents do not do a sufficiently good job in raising their children.

Experiences from childhood have a much larger impact on our adult selves than we realize. If you are among those who struggle significantly with self-confidence and self-love, it could also be due to your childhood.

Here are 10 signs that you were overly criticized as a child.

 

1. You put yourself last

You live a life where the most important thing for you is to make other people happy. This can be very exhausting because you put everyone else first and think of yourself last. You even do this at the expense of your own desires and happiness.

Therefore, a lot of anger can build up inside you. You are too busy giving too much of your time and energy to others, which is why you never give yourself what you need.

No matter how much you give, you feel like you still need to do more, and that is overwhelming for you.

 

2. You apologize far too often

Some days, you say “sorry” so often it could be your middle name. Are you one of the people who say “sorry” a million times when they accidentally bump into someone?

Do you apologize profusely if you don’t respond to a text right away because you’re afraid your friend or partner might be mad at you?

Apologizing, even when you’ve done nothing wrong, is a consequence of being overly criticized in childhood. It is polite to say you’re sorry when you’ve made a mistake, but you shouldn’t take it too far.

Self-respect is still important, as is the realization that everyone makes mistakes. However, this doesn’t mean you should be harsh and unforgiving towards yourself.

 

 

3. You are a perfectionist

You leave no room for mistakes because everything has to be perfect. The need to be perfect and to shape everything in your life in a certain way is something you carry from your childhood.

Because if everything is perfect, what is there left to criticize? However, since no one is perfect, there is no way to lead a life without mistakes. You might see your perfectionism as a virtue, but it causes more harm than you think.

This is because it doesn’t motivate you – on the contrary, it holds you back. As soon as something doesn’t go as you envisioned, you lose your focus and motivation.

You might also be very demanding in your personal relationships because you set unrealistic expectations for other people. Ironically, if you are a perfectionist, you tend to be overly critical yourself.

 

 

4. You see compliments from others as false or exaggerated

It’s sad when you really do something amazing but can’t see it. Having been overly criticized throughout your childhood, you don’t know how to handle compliments.

You are very skeptical when someone says something great about your achievements, your personality, or your appearance. The first thing that comes to your mind is that what you are hearing is most likely a lie.

You assume that the person complimenting you has an ulterior motive or is exaggerating because they pity you. This mindset not only harms your self-esteem but also potential new relationships in your life.

Genuine and sincere compliments can lose their effect if you doubt them too much or do not respond appropriately. It can take a very long time to unlearn this way of thinking.

You should learn to accept a compliment and trust that not all people have bad intentions when they approach you.

 

 

5. Negative feedback is particularly difficult for you

Just as you cannot tolerate a compliment, you also cannot tolerate criticism. Even if you are approached in the kindest and most careful manner, you still react emotionally when criticized.

Growing up and being constantly criticized doesn’t mean you become cold as an adult and stop caring. Now, when someone criticizes you, you might think back to the times in your childhood when you felt ashamed and helpless because you did something wrong.

You see yourself as someone who always bears the blame, and you expect to be the focus of criticism. But that doesn’t mean you’ve learned how to deal with it.

Even if someone means well and gives you constructive criticism to help you, you do not take it well.

 

6. You avoid big risks

You live in a world of comfort and without risks. The thought of leaving your comfort zone is very daunting for you. Since you were overly criticized in your childhood, your self-esteem is weak, and you are afraid to try new things.

You don’t want to fail, and the fear of not achieving what you want makes you stay where you are. There is a voice in your head that has a lot of power over what you desire.

You might fail many times before you get what you want. But you’re not alone. Most people never talk about their failures.

If you want to achieve a lot in your life, you must take a few calculated risks from time to time and step out of your comfort zone. Only then can you grow as a person.

 

 

7. You want to please everyone

The need to please everyone around you is one of the biggest signs that you were overly criticized as a child. Now you’re an adult who fears disappointing others.

You don’t want anyone to think poorly of you, and you give all your energy to make others happy. You constantly sacrifice yourself to look good in the eyes of others.

You often fear saying what you really think or feel because you don’t want to upset anyone.

 

 

8. A single mistake sets you back

As a perfectionist who dislikes taking risks, you hate it when there are mistakes in your plan. When an unexpected turn occurs, you break down and believe the world is ending.

It is nearly impossible to pull yourself out of the dark pit you fall into after a failure or setback. For you, success and victory are the norm, and you find it hard to accept anything else.

The only reason you avoid risks so much is that you’re afraid something might go wrong. If your worst fears come true, you’ll be in a bad mood for weeks or even months.

 

 

9. You are plagued by self-doubt

Your brain is your biggest enemy. Your inner critic and low self-esteem have made you afraid to take on new challenges. You constantly doubt yourself because you don’t believe you have what it takes to succeed.

You carry a poor image of yourself from your childhood, where you felt you were always wrong, no matter what you did.

 

 

10. You have low self-esteem

Growing up with parents who constantly criticize can leave marks on one’s self-esteem. Hearing this kind of communication from your parents for years can lead you to develop a poor image of yourself.

Children are not capable of processing this type of criticism rationally. Therefore, they grow up thinking: “I must be the problem. I am unworthy. Over time, this inner dialogue becomes their reality.

When the child becomes an adult, the suppressed feeling of being unworthy and incapable persists. That’s why you might struggle with your self-esteem. You are unable to recognize your own worth.